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MARIE Trudel

Sunday, 10:25 a.m.
September 4, 2005
Hi Christian,

I'm embarrassed and a little ashamed to be telling you my story. I'm doing it because you asked me to. How did I get to this point, this stage in the road, my boyfriend and I had, I think, a stale life, I wasn't working, it was late 2004, no social life, nothing. I did things around the house, puttered about, domestic stuff. My boyfriend worked for a strange man who wasn't always straight with him, he worked all the time. We didn't see alot of each other. Financially, it was difficult, that's how we lost our place. My mother died in January 2003, two months later, in late March, we had to leave our place. We moved our things into storage and treated ourselves to hotels, a motel. It was pretty expensive, you know. One fine day, I said to myself: I'm going to go to the OBM, a women's shelter. He was living with a friend. At first, staying there wasn't easy, it felt like a jail. But you get used to it quick. I looked on the bright side alot, you've got a roof over your head, especially in winter (I went to the OBM at the end of August), you've got your bed (number 223 in a corner), clean sheets once a week.

Breakfast 7:00 and supper at quarter to five and a shower in the evening after supper. There were rules to follow, that's OK, otherwise it would be a free for all, forget it.

I liked living in the OBM despite everything, it wasn't only bad stuff, I met some real cool people, a woman named Jacynthe, who's had her own place since July 2005, I'm real happy for her. Jesse was a woman I liked to hang out with, and other people too.

Bonneau for the first time with Jesse, that morning I was on a real downer and I said to her: I'm coming along this morning. Down and outers right in your face, its incredible to see I'll always remember that. But despite everything they respect each other, you might think that's crazy, but I learned stuff from these street people. Some so-called normal people are lower then they are. I swear. There are people there I thought of as street brothers. But not for long, it's hard, it's real rock and roll. The reality of the place hit me right in the face one fine day. I put a stop to that for my safety and for someone I like alot. There was this real jealous guy who wanted to hurt him physically, that's too much. I can't tolerate violence after having lived through these sometimes difficult times, I've got alot of moral strength, thank God.

P.S.: Bonneau, I'd heard about that place for a long time, I went, I saw it.

Lots of courage, my desire to hang onto this STRENGTH to do something with my life something good, volunteer work. A little digression, I've got a 1 ½ temporarily while I find another place, its real hard. But I've got a roof over my head, today I did some things around the house, its good for your morale.

To add to life, not everyone can stay at the OBM when the dormitory is full, you've got forty women in there, crying, yelling, squabbling, coughing, farting, belching...

Its not always easy. And when you're not a resident, you've got to drag your stuff around in bags. I once quit a job because of these bags, I was exhausted, I decided to stop and take care of my aching body, my back was killing me, I think, and others say this too, this is one of the hardest things about this life, dragging these bags around every day. To return to volunteer work, my mother did alot of that and out of respect for her I've done it and it did me good and anyway when you help others you help yourself. For the time being I'm doing OK, my morale is good, I'm glad to have this little place, to have the life I do. I'm lucky despite everything. In May 2005 when I was waiting to get into the OBM you came along, Christian, looking for homeless people and people living like that. And Jesse and I talked about it and I was tempted to give it a try and I found it worthwhile and interesting. Its a very nice job, "photographer," and I'm glad we were able to work together. I learned things about myself and I'm privileged. Thank you for your patience and your kindness too. By the way, your girlfriend Sonia is very nice, she was alot of help to you the other day in the park, with that big lighting thing, I don't know what its called. The pictures are good and tell you alot about the person's eyes.

Thank you again Christian

Say hello to Sonia and Christophe

Its been a pleasure

Marie

P.S.: I didn't talk alot about my boyfriend in all that, friends now and then, especially at the OBM, for his part he was working. When we saw each other it was for brief periods of time, and I'll tell you honestly, I was selfish, there were days I preferred to do my own thing. But I thought about him everyday. There were also days when we didn't see each other at all, it was as if our lives had separated somehow. Its difficult to explain. You have to go through it to understand it. But despite everything we're still together, its been 25 years, That's quite something. We're tough. I say that with pride, its normal. Especially when you live through hard times in life with someone. You come out OK and especially I don't give up easy.

What I lived through can happen to anyone, no one is safe from anything.